The profile I did was very similar to those done by my husband and a child care parent. NO big surprise I am a people-oriented listener but I try hard not to let it interfer with my judgement. This has gotten better over the years and to be honest I still hold people at arms length before giving trusted information to them.
I must do a great job of covering my nerves. My husband and the parent rated my as having mild anxiety when I am really very anxious person when I have to speak in front of an audience. Although I felt better about public speaking this last time in an interview than I have all year long in this job search process.
The verbal aggression scale was interesting to view. My husband rated me as "significant" and I can see this because at home I can let him know how I feel without it leave the walls of our house. I have on more than one occiasion said some teens have "rocks for brain" because of the things they show younger children to do and the younger child then tries to copy it. However the parent and I scored closer together in the moderate range because I try not to hurt other feels when they say something but ask them how they might do that or lets give it a try and if it does not work we'll try something else or prove that statement to me; where did you get your information.
As I look to how to use this assessment I will try to work on my feeling of public speaking so I am closer to what I appear to be this is not a bad goal to work on considering I would like to do workshops on being a teacher in the early childhood field. This is also a good personal goal when interacting in new situations such as parties and workshops and conference that I am invited to or go to.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Communication Styles
This has not been the best week to view my own communication styles. We have had a snowstorm, ice storm and power outages, leaving me to only talk on the telephone with people and a doctor when my husband when to hospital to have a rod removed from his arm.
So through these limited interaction I tried to pay attention to whomever I was talking to, no multi-tasking! This was hard to do at first but has become easier. I can now pay attention to what they are saying to me. One parent called to tell me they were not coming in because of the snow and ice but as I listen more I found out that the little girl is afraid the power is going to go out and they leave a light on until the parents go to bed and dad turns it back on in the morning before he leaves for work. I remembered about this fear but thought the daughter was over it because nothing had been said for a long time. In another conversation I was able to express my fear of my husband being late returning home from work, I had heard about several bad car crashed on his route home. my friend reassured me he was fine and to wait to call him until later that morning.
The limited face to face interaction I had was talking to surgical staff, a doctor and store clerks as my husband drove me around on a various errands. With the store clerks after their usual greeting I would ask how their day was going and thank them for coming to work. Most seemed surprised at being thank even the surgical nurse was surprise, and said "it was my pleasure to help you today" as we loaded my husband into the car. There was one encounter that even being overly nice to the store clerk did not change he just did he job with greeting but no personality. With the staff at the hospital I asked a lot of question especially of the doctor. And then listen not trying to interrupt or act like I knew what was going to happen based on past experience with the surgery my husband was having.
Three strategies I will use: when talking on the phone NO multi-tasking then the person has my true undivided attention just as though they were sitting with me in my house. Be more reciprocal in conversation with staff in the store and thank them no matter what the weather is, the snowstorm is the start for me. And finally just ask question then listen to the replies.
So through these limited interaction I tried to pay attention to whomever I was talking to, no multi-tasking! This was hard to do at first but has become easier. I can now pay attention to what they are saying to me. One parent called to tell me they were not coming in because of the snow and ice but as I listen more I found out that the little girl is afraid the power is going to go out and they leave a light on until the parents go to bed and dad turns it back on in the morning before he leaves for work. I remembered about this fear but thought the daughter was over it because nothing had been said for a long time. In another conversation I was able to express my fear of my husband being late returning home from work, I had heard about several bad car crashed on his route home. my friend reassured me he was fine and to wait to call him until later that morning.
The limited face to face interaction I had was talking to surgical staff, a doctor and store clerks as my husband drove me around on a various errands. With the store clerks after their usual greeting I would ask how their day was going and thank them for coming to work. Most seemed surprised at being thank even the surgical nurse was surprise, and said "it was my pleasure to help you today" as we loaded my husband into the car. There was one encounter that even being overly nice to the store clerk did not change he just did he job with greeting but no personality. With the staff at the hospital I asked a lot of question especially of the doctor. And then listen not trying to interrupt or act like I knew what was going to happen based on past experience with the surgery my husband was having.
Three strategies I will use: when talking on the phone NO multi-tasking then the person has my true undivided attention just as though they were sitting with me in my house. Be more reciprocal in conversation with staff in the store and thank them no matter what the weather is, the snowstorm is the start for me. And finally just ask question then listen to the replies.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Watching the Television
This was an interesting idea to watch the television with the sound off then if possible later listen to the show. I got two different interpretation of the show still with the same meaning. I watched "Shake It Up" on the Disney channel, usually a show I listen to because my daughter is watching it and I a busy doing things around the house and homework.
I knew that the two girls are friends and each has a brother. A new person was on the show and the mother of the one girl was finally shown. As I watched to figure out who the other person was just a few minutes into the show when I figured out he was either a dad or uncle. At the part where they are eating dinner I finally realized he was the dad. In one scene he is carrying his daughter off a dance stage and in another they are sitting in an observation room for an O.R. and dancing. I could not get the connection to this part other than to know the dad did not want his daughter dancing and she wants to dance. There is a scene where the daughter and dad are sitting in a restaurant having a heated discussion, body language told me this. grumpy looking faces, crossed arms, aggressively pointing fingers at each other and looking away from each other.
Now with the sound on there was some different interpretation of what I was seeing. When the man came in holding a lunch bag he was looking for an excuse to hug his daughter and then his son. During the hug her friend comes up to ask about dancing the daughter tries to play off doing math homework. A scene that is confusing without words. At the dinner the dad put his foot down about being involved in "show biz" and that his children were going to be doctors because he is one and the grandfather is one. The dad is upset with the daughter when he finds her dancing on TV and that is why he carries her of the TV show. And the scene in the O.R. is her proving to her dad how much she really likes to dance.
I normally do not just sit and watch TV, I am always doing something when it is on nor do I watch the same show two times in one week. But this proved to be interesting sound/no sound. I gave the show a different meaning. How we use our bodies when trying to cover something up, hand gestures and how we talk using our mouths. My biggest 'aha" came when I watch with no sound and how we use our bodies and face to communicate. I am working with a child to read my face for what I am trying to say 'I am happy', 'I am upset with what you did'. I could not understand why he is having trouble get this until I did this exercise. He is always be talked to or at by others not having to rely on the visual part of the conversation. Both parts of the conversation are needed to get the true meaning of what is being said and conveyed.
I knew that the two girls are friends and each has a brother. A new person was on the show and the mother of the one girl was finally shown. As I watched to figure out who the other person was just a few minutes into the show when I figured out he was either a dad or uncle. At the part where they are eating dinner I finally realized he was the dad. In one scene he is carrying his daughter off a dance stage and in another they are sitting in an observation room for an O.R. and dancing. I could not get the connection to this part other than to know the dad did not want his daughter dancing and she wants to dance. There is a scene where the daughter and dad are sitting in a restaurant having a heated discussion, body language told me this. grumpy looking faces, crossed arms, aggressively pointing fingers at each other and looking away from each other.
Now with the sound on there was some different interpretation of what I was seeing. When the man came in holding a lunch bag he was looking for an excuse to hug his daughter and then his son. During the hug her friend comes up to ask about dancing the daughter tries to play off doing math homework. A scene that is confusing without words. At the dinner the dad put his foot down about being involved in "show biz" and that his children were going to be doctors because he is one and the grandfather is one. The dad is upset with the daughter when he finds her dancing on TV and that is why he carries her of the TV show. And the scene in the O.R. is her proving to her dad how much she really likes to dance.
I normally do not just sit and watch TV, I am always doing something when it is on nor do I watch the same show two times in one week. But this proved to be interesting sound/no sound. I gave the show a different meaning. How we use our bodies when trying to cover something up, hand gestures and how we talk using our mouths. My biggest 'aha" came when I watch with no sound and how we use our bodies and face to communicate. I am working with a child to read my face for what I am trying to say 'I am happy', 'I am upset with what you did'. I could not understand why he is having trouble get this until I did this exercise. He is always be talked to or at by others not having to rely on the visual part of the conversation. Both parts of the conversation are needed to get the true meaning of what is being said and conveyed.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Who do I Admire?
There really is no one person that I would pattern my communication skills after but rather a group of individuals that each have a quality I like.
The first would be my mom. She know when to stand up for my brother and I and when to set us free. She has told teachers they are wrong about us and to look at the facts before judging her or her children. She gave us the gift to speak our mind when needed and to know when to be respectful of our thought and others. Next, would be the pastor of our church. For getting up every Sunday morning and speaking in front of the congregation. He holds my attention as well as that of my daughters. He know how to sprinkle the sermon with humor and information to get the message across for the week. Finally, one of my professor I had in the BA program I graduated from. She spoke her mind and had no trouble calling us out to support or fact but was sensitive enough to know when we needed a break and to cool off or pull ourselves together. Her class was one that explored our feelings about us and our lives that we had lived.
As I look at each of these people that have come into my life I hope that as I continue to gain more experience in my communication skill I can take each of the peoples characteristic and make them mine.
The first would be my mom. She know when to stand up for my brother and I and when to set us free. She has told teachers they are wrong about us and to look at the facts before judging her or her children. She gave us the gift to speak our mind when needed and to know when to be respectful of our thought and others. Next, would be the pastor of our church. For getting up every Sunday morning and speaking in front of the congregation. He holds my attention as well as that of my daughters. He know how to sprinkle the sermon with humor and information to get the message across for the week. Finally, one of my professor I had in the BA program I graduated from. She spoke her mind and had no trouble calling us out to support or fact but was sensitive enough to know when we needed a break and to cool off or pull ourselves together. Her class was one that explored our feelings about us and our lives that we had lived.
As I look at each of these people that have come into my life I hope that as I continue to gain more experience in my communication skill I can take each of the peoples characteristic and make them mine.
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